Those who read offbeat stories in a futile attempt to block out depressing political news like I do may have seen this viral story by now: A Texas woman was banned from a local Walmart after spending hours driving an electric shopping cart around the store's parking and guzzling wine from a Pringles can.
In a Walmart parking lot - Joy riding and guzzling wine from a Pringles can
Scott Hollifield is editor/GM of The McDowell News in Marion, N.C and a humor columnist. Contact him at rhollifield@mcdowellnews.com.
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
Those who know me and still talk to me know I always wanted to be a wheelin’-dealin’ kiss-stealin’ gear-jammin’ coffee-slammin’ truck-driving …
When I was a young fellow, right there in the short window between post-toddler and preschooler, I had an invisible pet squirrel I…
As Johnny Cash said many times, "Love is a burning thing and it makes a fiery ring."
The other day I was looking through a hardbound copy of old newspapers – that’s the way they were saved for history’s sake before microfilm an…
Many workplaces are relaxing employee dress codes, according to an article I read about many workplaces relaxing employee dress codes.
A new study suggests that kids who watched “Sesame Street” performed better in elementary school than children who did not.
In this neck of the woods, we take Bigfoot seriously. He – or perhaps she – is a source of civic pride and an economic engine, serving as the …
In breaking tuber news, a class action lawsuit alleges the restaurant chain and food company TGI Fridays has deceived a snack-hungry public by…
We all need a friend like this: A guy who will tote his power washer across town, fire it up and blast off the remains of a wayward bird that …
According to a just-released study, ultra conservatives over the age of 65 were more likely to share a “news” story on social media claiming H…
As an American, I believe I have the God-given Constitutional right to bear nunchucks and beat the ever-loving stuffing out of anyone who look…
Nothing is as simple as it seems, not even a dog leash.
As the theoretical cigar-chomping, hooch-swilling, skirt-chasing, cholesterol-lowering-medication-taking, underpaid and overworked 1930s newsp…
World Against Toys Causing Harm (WATCH), a consumer safety group, has named its “10 Worst Toys for 2018,” a list of hunks of plush and plastic…
Author’s note: Along with leftover turkey sandwiches, please enjoy this column originally published a few years back.
If it’s got a good beat and easy to dance to, it might save a life.
As a fractured, rebuilt and blended family with lots of blood kin and non-blood kin who enjoy each other’s company, we’ve nearly set the woods…
According to a study by Mattress Advisor, Taco Bell is by far the favorite late-night dining spot for people who down three quarts of Colt .45…
I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I would have been much duller had I not had access to books at an early age.
According to a new scientific study of stupid behavior leading to terrible yet predictable consequences, more than 250 people have been killed…
What would a long-dead 20th century Hall of Fame coaching legend know about 21st century audiovisual technology?
Author’s note: Still reeling from the death of Burt Reynolds -- Smokey could not catch the Bandit, but time could -- I found myself unable to …
Back in 1980, country music star Bobby Bare released an album called “Drunk & Crazy,” which, as one might guess from the title, was not a …
On Sept. 8, my hometown, the thriving micropolis of Marion, North Carolina, will host our state’s biggest and best (and, so far, o…
As a former child, onetime college student and eventually the father of my very own former child and onetime college student, I know first-han…
Congratulations slackers, underachievers and goof-offs – you win.
In addition to being a hometown tradition since 1929, The McDowell News is currently home to a small colony of bats.
On the morning of Monday, July 2, brewer Jason Snyder started the process at Mica Town of creating the special Bat News Double Black IPA to ho…
A $145 million out-of-this-world marriage proposal?
As Billie Holiday sang back in 1936, it’s summertime, and the livin’ is easy. But, for some people 82 years later, keeping clothes on is hard.
OK, people, once and for all, let’s learn how to wash our filthy hands.
Author’s note: With Kim Jong Un featured prominently in the news and a couple of my vacation days coming up, I thought this would be the perfe…
I went to a Willie Nelson show and a news event broke out.
The soon-to-be college graduate, decked out in cap and gown and prepared for the packed-house ceremony that would signify the completion of fo…
