You never know: Depression is real and how to help

I was recently exposed to someone with a mood disorder. I’m ashamed to admit that until someone dear to my heart reached out to me with this affliction, I considered the mention of this topic to be nothing more than rubbish.To me, depression was an excuse used by someone vain seeking attention or an individual with a weak mind. However, within minutes of listening to this loved one, my preconceptions were shattered. I was so unprepared for their cries for help; I was compelled to research this infirmity. Although I am not a medical doctor, I hope this story illustrates my findings clearly enough that others may receive enlightenment. And perhaps use a less callous approach towards someone in need.I must have read fifty articles from the National Institute of Mental Health, Harvard Medical School, the American Medical Association and the New England Journal of Medicine – to name a few sources. Many of the articles had long bibliographies. But in short, to my disappointment, I found that medical scholars didn’t want to commit to a course of action or approach – other than placing the victim on medication. They all agreed on that.So, I don’t want to regurgitate what I read, since I feel it will only help to confuse rather than assist. Therefore I am going to give you my synopsis of the ailment and pick an approach which I hope will help one or more in need.I discovered that people with depression are just like you and me. We all have foolish or unreasonable thoughts. The difference is that normal people – i.e., those not suffering with depression – can dismiss irrational thoughts or unreasonable ideas easily. Those with depression cannot. They have neuron disruptions or connections to specific synapses that are blocked in some way. This makes it difficult, if not impossible to rationalize observations, events or behaviors the rest of us dismiss without giving it a second thought. So what does that mean? In short, let’s call it what it is. Those suffering with depression often have and express thoughts many of us would categorize as crazy.I realize that seems a bit harsh, so let me explain. A mother might claim her children are in great peril from a source that doesn’t actually exist. Or a wife may believe her husband doesn’t love her because he comes home late. And yet another person may claim they were spurned by a friend simply because they were not invited to dinner.So what can you do? What should you do? Well, listen to the person. Identify what they believe and what they need – it might be good to take notes. It’s important that you are not an enabler. In other words, don’t support or claim to understand why someone is having senseless thoughts. That doesn’t help. Identify yourself as a person whose opinion they trust. If you’re not that person, then find one. Confirm that if you hear them talking nonsense, you will bring it to their attention. Identify a word or phrase. For example: your friend claims nobody loves them and you know that to be completely false. Yell out ‘Shenanigans’ as your declaration that they are expressing a thought, a feeling or an idea which has no basis in fact. That established word or phrase is now a trigger used to counteract their mental or emotional derailment.